S11~ the CW award breakdown *spoilers*

This is a collection of details about my novella for my CW classmates as part of an assignment for this week.  In other words, if it doesn’t make sense to you, don’t worry.  😉

If you are in my CW class, here’s the breakdown for you on what’s what — basicallysoyouknowwhotovotefor.  XP  But if you don’t want to vote for me, I’ll try to forgive you that makes perfect sense.  I really don’t know how I’m going to pick on some of these categories because all these novellas this semester have been amazing!

Title:  Only

Not sure if I really like this title, but I think it’s good enough for now.

Male Lead Character:  Jairus

Male Supporting Character:  Mordecai

Female Supporting Character:  Keturah (Jairus’ wife) and Abihail (the only child)

Setting:  Capernaum, Israel, at the time of Jesus (c. 25 A.D.)


Best Quote (and feel free to disagree with me on this):  So, I had a really hard time figuring this part out.  Feel free to disagree with me on this.

And please, if you can think of something better from my novel that you liked for this category of quotes, let me know and I will update this!  😀

“He knew how a lump of clay on his wheel felt now:  whirling beyond its own control.”  (from chapter 10)

Or maybe something from this back-and-forth in chapter 2?

“Jairus!  Seeking truth is an active thing!”  Mordecai flared.  “You can’t just sit in your synagogue and read the Torah all day!  Truth is pointless if it doesn’t go anywhere!”

Jairus winced at the invisible sparks.  “But going somewhere doesn’t mean going everywhere – or neglecting the map.”  He bit his lip, then met his in-law’s eyes.

Opening Line:  Carefully, carefully, Jairus’ wet, calloused fingers moved to draw out the lip of the clay vase as it spun on his potter’s wheel.

Closing Line:  “Your pieces are whole.”

Literary devices:  Here’s the list, more or less complete.


“In this circle of sacred lamplight, in the home he had provided for them by the work of his hands, the untamed Galilean Sea outside was nonexistent.” (from chapter 1)

“A dark mass of shadow fell across the clean-cut patch of sunlight on the floor.”  (from chapter 2)


Jairus and Mordecai are foils.  Jairus is steady, cautious, and practical.  Mordecai is rash and passionate.

Jairus and the woman who touched Jesus hem (see chapter 9) are foils, too, in a way.  Jairus struggles to reconcile Jesus’ words, ‘Don’t be afraid; only believe’, while she risks being trampled to death in the faith that touching the edge of Jesus’ cloak will heal her.


“The red sun was stooping to kiss the western horizon when the father and daughter exited the ordered workshop.”  (from chapter 1)

“The raindrops fell faster, thicker, harder.  No longer did they kiss.  Instead, they stung.  Like merciless masters, the falling water lashed at the men’s backs and beards.”  (from chapter 6)

“The wind screamed at them in rage, frantically grasping at her victims, as Mordecai jerked at the latch.  The door swung in, pushed out of Mordecai’s hand by the desperate gust.”  (from chapter 6)

And probably others I’m just not thinking of right now…

Extended metaphor-  In chapter 6, Thunder and Silence, Mordecai and Jairus are caught in a thunderstorm.  This reflects the conflict between the two and the emotional struggles.



“The girl’s mind turned like a skylark.”
“Running on like a brook, Abihail took the water from her mother and absently washed her small hands.”  (both from chapter 1)

“A combination of them all seemed to beat at Jairus mind like a flock of sparrows.”  (from chapter 5)

“He reached up his hands to pull his cloak more tightly around himself, more to keep it from blowing away like a loose sail than for warmth.”  (from chapter 6)

“More than fear now, Jairus felt his anger at this man twisting like a knife in his mind.”  (from chapter 6)

amongst others…

Symbolism-  Jairus’ carefully ordered world is falling apart, despite his efforts to prevent it.  As his mental anguish at this reaches a sub-climax when the physician pronounces his daughter’s case hopeless, Jairus drops the clay vase he has made, and it shatters on the floor.  (see chapter 7)

Oxymoron-  Abihail’s name means ‘father is strength’.  As she lies dying and her father is helpless to save her, this meaning becomes ironic.  (see chapters 7 and 8)

I think that’s most of them.  Yeah, I like literary devices.  🙂

Comedic Moment:  “I’m glad you aren’t as crazy as my brother,” Keturah hinted at a grin.  “I would not have been so keen on our marriage if you were.”  (from chapter 4)

Okay, I realize my story is not really a comedic story, so I don’t really have much at all in the way of comedic moments.  I apologize.

Dramatic Moment:  This is probably the scene where the pot shatters at the end of chapter 7.

Jairus just looked at the man, gripping the vase in his hands more tightly.

“What is it?”  Keturah’s voice tried to mask desperation.

“Well,” Elihu avoided their eyes, “I’m afraid there’s not much hope.”

Keturah moved the side of her fist to her lips, breathing in.

Abihail jerked her head to the side, murmuring in her restless sleep.

“The infection is bad,” the physician explained.  “The fever is high.  Her body is weak.  I’m afraid she probably on has a one or two days left.”

“You mean, she’s dying?” Keturah whispered.

Jairus felt the thing in his hands slipping.  The sound jarred his stupefied mind – cracking, breaking, scattering.  The vase shattered into pieces at his feet.


(But you’ll appreciate it it more if you read at least the entire chapter.)

Suspenseful Moment:  Probably the tension in chatper 3 after the dark shadows at the end of chapter 2.

“That may be so,” returned the tall soldier, “but our sandal maker is sick today.  And it will do this one good to gain some experience with this type.”  He twisted the last two words mockingly.

“Whose shop do you think this is?” Mordecai’s independence flamed.

“We are in charge here, Jew,” the Roman spat, “so you had better watch your hasty tongue.”

The soldier in the doorway advanced a step, putting his rough hand to his side where his weapon hung.

Mordecai stood up abruptly, throwing his awl down on the worktable.  The storm clouds threatened in his dark eyes.  “You may have the sword, but that weapon did not save Goliath.  David slew that oppressor of God’s people with a single stone.”

“Rome has stones, too.”  The eyes of the first Roman narrowed as his lips twisted scornfully.  “We pave the roads across our empire with them so we can march across it.  And the city of Rome itself, where Caesar reigns divine, is a temple of stone to her power.”  He paused to lean closer to the sandal maker.  “We have stones, too, Jew.”

The storm clouds broke across the sandal maker’s entire being.  “Curse the stone of Rome!”  Mordecai thundered.  “Curse every mortal man who sets himself up as god!  Curse you hands and feet of tyranny!”  He slammed his fist down on the work table, and the awl clattered to the ground, accenting his piercing words.

The next minute was a flash of lightning.

(Again, this will make more sense if you read the whole chapter.)

And my genre is historical fiction, so it counts for award.  =)


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seriously -- I'd love to know what you think!

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