NaPoWriMo// week 3

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Week 3 already!  I honestly wasn’t sure how writing poetry for a month would go — especially since the whole novel writing month thing never really pulled together for me.  xP  But I’ve really been enjoying this overall!

This week turned out a little choppier, I feel like, just because writing poems at 10:30 at night after a long day doesn’t really foster creativity and coherent thinking. 😦

Earlier this week, though, I had a little more time and got a little more reading done. During my gap year, I’ve been doing a ‘book club’ with Mommy where we read a book a month and discuss it together.  This month is The Book That Made Your World:  How the Bible Created the Soul of Western Civilization by Vishal Mangalwadi.  It’s a thick book, but it’s actually one of the most fascinating non-fiction books I’ve ever read.  It explores the differences in mindset between Western and non-Western culture and why they produce such different results.  But specifically it looks at why they are so different and the astounding role the Bible played in making Western Civilization — its thinking, its writing, its art, its heroes, its ideas.  Like I said, it’s fascinating.  It makes you wonder and look at and appreciate the world and the God Who stepped into it so much more.  O.o

But all that to say, it inspired these first two poems.  🙂

//day 15//

How could I know night
–   unless there was a day?
How could I know blindness
  unless someone could see?
How could I know toil
–   unless I’d once known joy?
How could I know brokenness
–   unless I’d once been whole?
How could I know death
–   unless I’d been alive?
How could I know darkness
–   unless I’d felt the light?
How could I long for something
  that doesn’t exist?
— unless it does

girlwithlightocean.jpg
also used here, but so perfect I had to…

//day 18//

Books hold something because of
a Book.
Words have meaning because of
the Word.

They say a pen is mightier than
a sabre.
But why?

Because there is truth
Because there is something
             to know,
             to communicate,
             to discover.

They say words are doors.
But when they are unknown,
–                                uncommunicated,
–                                undiscovered,
They are barricades,
–         separating freedom from ignorance.

But if there is truth, there
is something to know,
and words become jars
to carry torches.

If there is truth, there
is something to tell,
something to communicate,
and pens become fountains
of a wellspring.

If there is a truth, there
is something to discover,
a reason to search,
because those who seek
will find.

Take away the truth
and what?
Don’t look —
It only hurts to want
–   a story
when there is no Teller.
Words are nothing
 if there is nothing to tell.

type.jpg

//day 19//

Pouring out words
Over paper — just one more tribute that
Everything stems from
The mind of the Maker:
Rarest beauty in purest ecstasy.
You breathed them first,
–      and our attempts are just
–      sparks lit from Your
          flame.

sparkler3

CW8~ My Uncles’ Fishing Boat

Originally, I had grand visions of writing some amazing work for this assignment.  Then, other schoolwork took over and I ran out of time.  😦  So I just went with the option of sharing a piece I’d already written.  My original assignment, waay back in tenth grade, was to write a personal essay as if I were one of the people involved or an observer in an incident from the book of Matthew, to describe the event, and to emphasize what I learned from the experience. As least half of the essay had to focus on what I learned and how my life was changed.  So, enjoy!  


 

The afternoon sun beat mercilessly down upon my head. I wished I could pull off my shawl and let my dark hair tumble down my damp neck — but not in public. I walked down the shore, digging my bare toes into the sand. My uncles, Andrew and Simon, were fisherman at this lake, the Sea of Galilee. My mother — their sister — had married my father, who was a carpenter in the town of Capernaum. However, this week, my parents had taken my younger siblings with them to visit a friend’s family. I would have gone too, except that I had to wait at Rabbi Joseph’s dinner party. So instead, I stayed with Grandfather Jonah and Grandmother Hephzibah. I went with my uncles and aunt to the synagogue today — that sure was interesting! My aunt went to visit her mother afterwards, but I decided to stay with my uncles and their friends and go down to the shore with Jesus.galilee

I was curious about Jesus. He taught wonderful things; He was kind and generous and serious — was He the Messiah? Some said so; I had heard my uncles discuss it several times during my brief stay at Grandfather’s. But the priests and Pharisees had seemed quite agitated by Him, His words, and His actions — especially this morning because He healed on the Sabbath. Jesus pointed out that any of them would have rescued a sheep from a pit on the Sabbath. Why then was it wrong for Him to heal on the Sabbath? Personally, I thought healing the way Jesus did — with a word or a touch — was a lot less work than pulling a foolish and uncooperative sheep out of a ditch. However, if Jesus was the Messiah, He didn’t fit the description I’d always heard from the religious leaders. On the other hand, based on the healing episode this morning and some other inconsistencies I’d wondered about in the priests teaching and living…. I would have to give this subject some more thought.

I had been walking down the beach towards my uncle’s fishing boat, and had made my way through the growing crowds, denser about Jesus and His friends (including my uncles). I squeezed past between Phillip and Thomas, two of my uncles’ friends, to where Uncle Andrew was standing, chatting with Nathaniel. My uncle glanced up, “How was your stroll, Rachel?”

“I enjoyed it very much, but now, I am getting extremely hot.”

“I don’t wonder!” agreed Uncle Andrew. “This sun is enough to fry any fish foolish enough to surface.” I liked Uncle Andrew. He was always friendly. Uncle Peter was nice too, but he wasn’t as staid as Uncle Andrew. He was more impulsive. He could be happy as a bear with a hive full of honey, then as stormy as Kinnereth in the winter, then his mood would swing back to the happy bear again.

“Uncle Andrew?” I asked. “Could I just sit in the boat for a little?”

“Of course,” he replied. “I think Jesus might do that, too. These crowds are getting pretty thick. If He sits in the boat, He can talk to them with some space between Himself and the masses.”jesus teaching

“Okay,” I replied. “Don’t mind me.”

Uncle Andrew helped me climb up into the boat. I found an out-of-the-way niche behind some ropes and nets, and settled myself comfortably. Jesus, my uncles, and the other men climbed aboard shortly after. I listened from my position as Jesus taught the eager throngs on shore. “A farmer went out to sow his seed,” He began. “As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop — a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.”

What was that supposed to mean? Uncle Peter must have had the same thought. “Why do you speak to the people in parables?” he asked Jesus.

Jesus replied: “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. This is why I speak to them in parables: Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.” I thought of His words, “He who has ears, let him hear.” Jesus continued, “For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”sower

He went on. “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means.” My ears perked up; I’m sure Uncle Peter’s did, too. “When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and deceitfulness of the wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Jesus began to describe the kingdom of heaven with more parables, but my mind still lingered over the parable of the seeds and soils. I wondered about the meaning. Which soil was I? He had talked of ‘the message about the kingdom.’ If the Messiah was to bring God’s kingdom, and Jesus was proclaiming the message about the kingdom, was Jesus the Messiah? I thought about what I had heard Uncle Peter mention to Uncle Andrew last night. Uncle Peter had told Uncle Andrew that he believed Jesus was the Son of God. The thought of that was astounding! Could God’s Son really be this humble carpenter from Nazareth sitting in my uncles’ fishing boat? He taught with authority, unlike the priests and Pharisees. If the priests were supposed to have the greatest knowledge of God and the law, and they didn’t teach with the authority of Jesus, Jesus must have an even greater knowledge of God and the law. If God had instituted the priests to be the mediators between Himself and the people, then what would be the status of One who was greater than the priests? I couldn’t think of anyone besides the Son of God who could fill that position. If Jesus was the Son of God, then He had to be the Messiah. Who else could better fill that position? What else would God’s Son have come down to earth for? Jesus had to be the Messiah!soils

My mind wandered back to the parable about the soils. I knew I was not the soil of the path, because I had received the message. Would the soil of my heart prove to be the good and fruitful soil? I hoped so! I also hoped that I could find a time to talk to Jesus about some of these things. Now I realized why Uncle Andrew and Uncle Peter spent so much time with Jesus, talking to Him and about Him and observing Him. To learn from Jesus was what I wanted as well. I wanted to ‘produce a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.’

Scripture taken from Matthew 13:3-23, New International Version © 1984

J7~ At His Right Hand

Our assignment was to share about our favorite Bible story or a Scripture passage that had spoken to us.  For whatever reason, I was having a very difficult time thinking of my favorite Bible story, so I ended up simply journaling about my favorite Scripture passage (the one posted on the side of my blog ;P ).  Enjoy!  🙂


“I have set the Lord always before me.  Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay.  You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.”

Psalm 16:8-11, NIV 1984


This passage has been a personal favorite for several reasons—

“I have set the Lord always before me.  Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

It doesn’t work.

I am a little introverted, shy, and easily get trapped in lack of confidence and fear.  This part of the psalm is so meaningful to me because it talks about not being easily shaken – standing fast and being confident.  However, it is not just a ‘believe in yourself’ kind of solution to fear.  Personally, I find I have trouble anyways with ‘believing in myself’, because, fallible and flawed human that I am, I find that I usually let myself down.  But this passage clearly spells out the key to not being shaken:  setting the Lord always before you and staying right beside Him.  This idea also resonates with Isaiah 26:3:  “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You,” (ESV).  The thing that calms our fears and helps us to step forward in confidence is not believing in ourselves, but believing in God and keeping our minds oriented around Him as we go forward in life.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay.”

     “My heart is glad” – Orienting our lives around God satisfies our very souls and fills us with a true joy that is not fleeting.

     “My tongue rejoices” – This supernatural joy does not stay concealed inside of us.  “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks,” Jesus said.  God fills us with joy in Him, and it should be naturally bubbling out of mouths like a fountain.  Of course, I am not saying you should hand out tracts to every person we interact with, but if we are genuinely satisfied in Christ, we should not be able to help a little something slipping out every now and then (not that we should try to help it from slipping out.)

     “My body also will rest secure” – Peter quotes this in Acts 2 as, “my body also will live in hope,” (NIV 1984).  Frankly, I am not sure which version I like better.  ‘Rest secure’ implies a physical peace, the ‘peace of God that transcends all understanding,’ as Paul describes it.  It is so wonderful to feel this trusting relief wash over you after taking some distressing matter – be it a school assignment, something someone said to me, or the overwhelming business of everyday life – to Jesus and laying it before Him

But I also like the “live in hope” phrase.  ‘Live’ and ‘hope’ are such powerful words.  What would this world be without them?  They make me think of the amaze-ing gift of eternal life we have in Christ, and remind me to hope in Him.

     “Because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay” – The first part of this phrase piggybacks off of the ‘live in hope’ idea:  eternal life in Christ.  God, in His astounding love, though He had every right and reason to abandon us to eternal death in Hell, has not done so.  He has rescued us to life, life in Him and with Him forever.

But that bit also is part of the next part, “nor will You let Your Holy One see decay,” which is a prophecy of Jesus.  This is actually what Peter was talking about when he quoted the verse.  God did not abandon His Son to the grave either, but raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places.

“You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.”

This last portion of the Psalm is so beautiful.  God is the One Who shows us the path of life.  Outside of Him, we cannot know it; we cannot live an existence worth calling ‘life’.

And in His presence is the ‘fullness of joy’ (as it is translated in KJV).  I don’t know if any of you have read Patricia St. John’s The Rainbow Garden (it is a great book!), but if you have, you will recognize this verse, the main character’s special passage.  The lonely little girl in the book hears the verse read aloud, catches only the ‘fullness of joy’ bit, and wants to find this ‘fullness of joy’.  At first, she thinks it can only be found in Heaven, until Mr. Owen explains to her that “in [God’s] presence is fullness of joy.”  Yes, this includes Heaven, but it can be right here and how when we are in Christ.  This resounds with what Jesus said in John 15:11, “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full,” (ESV).  A life oriented around God will bring fullness of joy and eternal pleasures, which are not physical thrills necessarily as much as delights of the soul.  And tying it together, the passage ends where it began, with our focus on God and at His right hand.

CW7~ The Father’s Sons

Our assignment was to rewrite a Bible story and set it modern times.  I won’t tell you which one I chose, because you are supposed to figure that out.  😉  Sorry it is a little long.  I tried to keep it visually interesting…  Oh — and on my attempt at writing out a New York accent — I had a difficult time figuring out what letters to combine to some of the sounds, so please pardon me if it looks weird.  (And if you have a suggestion on how to improve it, please share.)  Don’t forget to comment!


As he shoveled a forkful of waffle into his mouth, David glanced around at his father and older brother Steven, also eating their waffles.  ‘It’s the same every day,’ he thought to himself.  ‘Dad, Steve, and me, breakfast, farm work, lunch, more farm work, supper, then bedtime, and we wake up to repeat the cycle.  I wish life was more exciting…  I think it’s time to finally tell Dad what I’ve been thinking about.’ waffles

“Dad?”

“Yes, Dave?”  His father wiped a bit of syrup out of his graying mustache.

“Dad, I’ve been thinking, and I’m tired of farm life and of Ohio.  I want to go do something, to meet people, to make my mark in the world.”  David paused.

“Okay,” his father said, slowly.

David went on, “Dad, I was thinking.  I know when you die, I’ll get half of all you own – all the farm, the bank savings – all that stuff.  So, do you think I could have that right now?  Then I could take that money and actually do something with it instead of having it sit around and gain a few cents in interest and a few more pounds of corn.”

Steven looked up sharply.  David’s father put his elbow on the table and rested his forehead on the back of his calloused hand.  There was silence for what seemed like an hour instead of merely thirty seconds.  David began to wonder if he should have told his plans so frankly.

Finally, his Dad raised his head from his hand.

David thought the man looked he might cry.  ‘Maybe I shouldn’t do this,’ he thought, his resolve quavering.  ‘No,’ he reminded himself.  ‘I must go.  I can never be great doing this same old same old day in and day out.  The great dictators of Rome left their fields behind,’ he flattered himself with the images of great generals of history.

“Very well, David.  Very well,” came his father’s low voice.

There was a split second of astonished silence, then, “Really, Dad?  You mean I can?  Oh boy!  Thanks, Dad!  Thanks a lot!”

Steven stood up abruptly and walked out of the kitchen.  David heard the screen door slam.

“Well,” said David, enthusiastically, “I’d better get looking up some plane tickets to New York!  Wall Street, here I come!”  He put the last bite of syrupy waffle in his mouth, grabbed his plate and fork, put them in the sink, and bounded out of the room.

His father, alone at the table, leaned his head on his hand again.


Three weeks later, David looked out the plane window at the two small figures looking out the window of the small airport:  Steven, in his button down and khakis, airplane on runwayand his Dad in his button down and overalls.  He waved good-bye.  He was starting a new life!

The next six months were a blur.  He found an apartment to rent, some roommates to hang out with, and interviewed for a job as a sales clerk.  He tried to invest in some stock, but did not have much luck with that.  He hung out with his new pals, learned how to play their games, and made more off that than from Wall Street.  There were some pretty girls, some late nights that became early mornings, some new beverages, some new cool.  One day, the New York Times headline read:  ‘Bottom Falls Out of Market:  Thousands Left Penniless as a Result’.  NewYorkTimes_Logo-300x145All David knew was that he was suddenly had no cash, no job, no apartment, and no ‘friends’ – and no food.

David hugged his flannel shirt tighter around him as the sharp, November breeze seemed to be trying as hard as it could to chill his soul.  The hole in the knee of his jeans gave the wind an advantage.  ‘Keep  moving,’ he reminded himself.  One foot in front of the other, David trudged down the sidewalk of the sorry excuse for a suburb.  He didn’t bother to look up.  What was there to see? rippedjeans

The next night, after what walking what seemed like half-way across the U.S., David reached some obscure little town outside of the metropolis.  He curled up in a dingy corner between a couple of buildings.  He glanced up in hopes of seeing a star or two.  The harsh bars of the fire escape on the side of the brick structure barred the cloudy sky, ominously reminding David of a prison.

The next morning, David found a bit of cardboard behind a restaurant and managed to make a sign, with the succinct message, ‘WILL WORK FOR FOOD.’  ‘But will anyone really help me?’ he wondered, thinking regretfully of the times he had ignored such people back home.  ‘Home.  Perhaps – but no.  I could never go back – not after what I’ve done,’ he thought with an ashamed grimace. will work for food

He sat on the street corner from until sometime in the afternoon.  Today’s gusts were chillier than yesterday’s.  One hour seemed to run into the next, and his stomach felt like dry and hollow log.  Finally, a bearded man in a rusty pickup pulled over by David.

“Ya willin’a wuhk, son?” The man had a heavy New York accent.

“Yessir,” David managed, trying to get his jaws, stiff with the cold, to obey him.

“Well,” said the man.  “I need some stauwlls mucked out.  I’ll pay ya five dauwlers ta do it.”

David knew the man was driving a bargain, but he was desperate.  “I’ll do it,” he answered, forcing his stiff legs to stand up.

“Climb auwn in, then,” the man returned.  “Oh, and my name’s Dauwson.”

“I’m Dave,” David returned, climbing in the passenger’s side.

Dawson drove about ten minutes, until they reached a long gravel driveway, a long-grassed acre on a hillside, and a shed with a rusty, corrugated metal roof that was apparently the barn.  Dawson parked the truck in the barn, and the two men got out.  Dawson led him to the three stalls.  “There’s the cows.  There’s the stauwlls.  There’s the pitchfohk.  There’s the wheelbarrow.  Ya know what ya doin’, right?”

“Yessir,” David nodded.  “I’ve been mucking stalls since I was about seven years old.”

“Good,” Dawson answered.  “I’ll be in the house if ya need me.”

Again, David nodded.  “Sounds good.”

Dawson left, and David started raking and shoveling the piles of manure into the wheelbarrow.  He glanced over at the feed trough in the corner.  ‘Grain?’  He looked closer.  ‘It is grain!’  David hastily leaned his pitchfork against the wall and ran over.  He knew it was absurdly barbaric, but he was starving.  Burying his hands in the kernels, David brought a handful of the dusty feed up to his mouth, and ate it.

He was about to repeat the action, when he suddenly stopped in mid-handful.  “What am I doing?”  he asked out loud.  “I’m eating cow feed,” he answered himself.  “How many of Dad’s hired hands have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!”  He paused a moment, trying to make up his mind.  “I will.  I will go back to Ohio, go back to Dad and tell him:  ‘Dad, I’ve made a mess of things.  I’ve disobeyed God, and I’ve wronged you.  I’m not worthy to be your son.  But please, just make me like one of your hired men.’

“I’d rather muck Dad’s stalls any day,” he added.


Three days later, after miles and miles of walking and hitchhiking, David was walking down the lane towards his Dad’s farm.  Well, the part of it that was left after he’d taken his share, he remembered ashamedly.

Dread grew in his mind.  The truth of what he had done grew more awful and more horrifying as he thought about it.  At the crest of the hill, David stopped.  He looked down, and saw the house and barns and tractors of his father.  A lump rose to his throat.  ‘I can’t go back,’ his mind screamed in fear.  ‘I have to – at least to apologize to Dad.’

As he watched, a figure emerged from one of the barns, shaded his eyes, and looked up at the top of the hill.  For a moment, the figure froze.  David could not tell who he was, but he knew he had been spotted.  Suddenly, the figure started running towards him.  A second later, David recognized the overalls.  It was his Dad.

The next minute was as blurry as the six months he’d frittered in New York.  Dad was running up the hill.  ‘I can’t think when I’ve last seen him run,’ David was noting.  Dad was throwing his arms around him and hugging him so hard David thought he might break his ribs.  David’s eyes, too were blurry.  Dad was kissing him – actually kissing him.

“Dad,” David began.  “I – I’ve made a mess of things.  I’ve disobeyed God, and I’ve wronged you.  I’m not worthy to be your son –”

“Tom!”  his Dad cut him off, calling to one of the hands who had by this point come up to see the commotion.  “Bring Dave some a new shirt and pair of jeans.  And get some new socks and a pair of my boots.”

“Yessir,” answered Tom, turning to go carry out the commands.

“And Tom,” his Dad added.

Tom turned back.

“Get out the beef steaks we were saving for Christmas and send someone out to the store for some pop.  Dave’s back, and we’re gonna celebrate!  Just like the son in the Bible, ‘He was dead is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”steak


That night, Steven came back from a long day in the outermost field.  He was just about to check his phone, since there had been no signal way out there in the field, when he noticed the house lit up and seemingly full of people.  “Dad must be having a party or something!” he exclaimed, then laughed at the notion.  John, one of the hands, came out on the porch.  “What’s up?”  Steven asked, nodding towards the house.

“Dave is here,” John answered, “and your Dad is breaking out the Christmas steaks because he’s back safe and sound.  Come on in and join the fun!”

“’The fun’?!  What?!”  Steven retorted.  He turned away before John could say anything else and went into one of the barns.

A few minutes later, Steven heard the barn door open and shut, and he recognized his father’s tread on the concrete floor.

“Steve?” his Dad spoke into the darkness.  “Are you gonna come inside?”

“No,” Steven answered flatly.  “Why should I?”

“Dave is back.  And we’re having dinner.”

“So I heard.”

“Why won’t you come in, Steve?”  Again, his father’s voice pleaded.

Steven suddenly turned around.  “Look!  All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders.  But you never even gave me a few burgers to have fun with my friends.  Now, Dave shows back up, after wasting half your property – likely on beer and prostitutes – and you blow a couple hundred dollars of steak on him!  It’s just wrong!”  Steven flared.

He felt his Dad lay his hand on his shoulder.  “Steve,” he said quietly, “Everything I have is free for you to use, and you’ll get all that I own now when I die.  But we had to celebrate and be glad, because Dave was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”